Days and days

Somehow I felt today like all the days were melding into one another. I'm not sure why that was, but it seemed ages since I'd last done something useful or interesting. Not that I haven't been, I've done lots of useful planning things, but I saw everything as it was in time. The calendar of events that make up my life panned out before me and I saw that there were many thing I thought I should have done. It's interesting to note that these things were to do with friends and not with any 'professional' engagements. I wish I'd spent more time idling with the people that have meant something to me in the past, and kept up acquaintances with those interesting people that I don't see anymore.

Aside from that I've been hard at work promoting the upcoming concert, making sure people know where and when it is, putting posters up around sunny Glasgow and giving out flyers as and when I can. As it seems there might be press attending I think we'll have to step up our quality of playing and get those rehearsals well attended. I really am just hoping the concert is a success. I also feel that I have moved on considerably since writing the piece for the concert. While writing it was a steep learning curve, and I changed my whole way of working, I've decided to build on the many things I've learnt and progress into the area I've been meaning to all along - live electronics. It's a scary process and I'm not sure how I'm going to go about writing the pieces as it becomes difficult to imagine the sounds you're creating without any feasible way of creating them without the performer. I suppose it'll just have to be MIDI and perseverance with Max for the time being.

I guess I've lost that desire to go home, again. I did want to for a long time this month but I've got so many things going on that I've managed to change my mind, without realising it. I just really want to get everything together and make sure I get into the New York university. If I don't get in this year I don't know what I'm going to do with the summer of my life. Maybe I'll lose faith in the composition scene altogether and move somewhere I don't have to think about all these highfalutin ideas. Maybe.